Clean and Elegant

Clean and Elegant

Monday 29 June 2015

All the Lonely People, Rainbows, The Big Black Dog and Sex

Sunday, June 28, 2015

It is wet and dreary here. And Simon’s birthday. I was thinking of sneaking into his building and throwing flowers off the roof. I don’t know if that will help. I am beating this whole thing to death. Or at least trying to. All the lonely people should hang out more often.

Rainbows
Everywhere on Facebook, people are turning their profile pictures into rainbows. Perhaps it is just some silly Facebook trend, but when I see everyone’s face turned into rainbows, I feel happy. Some people have clever and political reasons for not changing their profile pictures.

Like this tweet from Che Gossett:
 
“Gay marriage will be another racist and colonial sign of which nations are civilized.”

Interesting. Okay. But what are we going to do? Revoke women’s right to vote? Another Facebook friend wrote about the oppressiveness of marriage as an institution. How the mythology of exclusive love conquering all perpetuates delusions and violence. Of course she is right to remember that there are still so many people left behind, all over the world. I don't know what to do. I am terrible at politics. And at forming sentences that contain the word “colonial.” Anything I say will make me sound like I’m in kindergarten. Silly white girl with rainbows on her face. I just find we are all so beautiful in rainbows.
All that said, please see my Important Addendum, Added on Friday, July 3, 2015
Eliot, and Sex

Eliot the Big Black Dog always liked to be involved during sex. Whenever he heard us kissing, he would make sure to be close by. If we were upstairs, he’d follow us, putting his nose up over the bed and wagging his tail. We’d tell him to lie down, and he would, but there wasn’t a chance he would leave the room.  After his legs got bad, he could no longer join us upstairs. He hated this. While we were at it in the bedroom, he would lie at the base of the stairs and make sooky noises, overcome by the injustice. The last time he got to take part was at the cottage, where all the rooms were on one floor. We’d started making out and getting busy in the guest room. Suddenly, we heard rhythmic banging against the wall.  Thump, thump, thump, thump. He was right next to us, wagging his tail enthusiastically, so so pleased with himself. We laughed so hard.

Eliot the Big Black Dog. He would have looked marvellous in rainbows
 
Important Addendum, Added on Friday, July 3, 2015: A Facebook friend shared this article in the Washington Post called "Why you should stop waving the rainbow flag on Facebook." The author Peter Moskowitz criticizes the slactivism inherent simply changing your profile picture and calling it a day. It made me consider that perhaps my above points are rather slack, and whether or not my whole rainbow section makes me seem naïve and dumb. But this isn't about me being naïve and dumb. The point is it's not really about me. I want to share a couple of quotes from Peter Moskowitz's article, and I truly hope you will take the time to read the whole thing.

"Gay pride was something I struggled to gain. As a gay man, I worked through years of bullying in school and overcame self-consciousness, loneliness and depression. The rainbow flag became a symbol of acceptance and confidence as I found my place in the LGBT community.

I’ve earned the right to claim pride through years of internal strife over my sexuality. Others
have died in the name of gay pride. More still have been jailed, have been disowned by their families, and have sued their state governments for it. Gay pride is not something you can claim by waving a flag.

The rainbow symbol is easy to co-opt, but the experience it represents is not.

That’s why it wasn’t comforting to see hundreds of my Facebook friends’ profile pictures draped in rainbows. It didn’t feel like they were understanding my struggle; it felt like they were cheapening it, celebrating a victory they had no part in winning."

"It’s now easy, popular and politically expedient to raise the rainbow flag for marriage equality, since
60 percent of Americans support it. But being an LGBT person is still difficult. In some states, it’s still legal to be fired or evicted for being gay. And the gay marriage ruling won’t end the crises of homelessness, harassment and suicide suffered by LGBT people. A record number of LGBT people, especially trans women of color, are being killed and HIV rates are still astronomically high among gay and bisexual men.

Covering your profile picture in rainbow colors doesn’t change any of those truths. "

I am grateful to my Facebook friend who is always sharing interesting and important perspectives, and challenging what is often the easiest opinion. Although I have not yet changed my profile picture, I am taking time to consider the whole issue more deeply. In all likelihood, my next profile picture will probably be of me in my Tree Office. My most decisive politics include not owning furniture, drawing my femur bones back as much as possible, candid emotional intimacy, and varying rants about pubic hair and potty training.

Tree Office


Addendum Number Two
Well, I have one more addendum. Another friend of mine wisely pointed out that it's not necessarily fair to assume that everyone who has changed their profile picture doesn't have a story behind it, and that they haven't supported someone or some part of the movement. Not everybody is a lie down in the street activist, but that doesn't mean we don't embody love for all beings within our own lives. This can mean advocating for a friend or loved one amidst conservative relatives, modelling all-inclusive attitudes for our children, or, as is my case, referring everyone in the world to Dan Savage's podcast. I appreciate people with strong views and radical conviction, but I think there is futility and even danger in taking on a "fuck the world," "everything is a disaster" attitude. (Not that Moskowitz and my Facebook friend who posted his article are guilty of this; however, I do see this tendency within some activist movements.) Also, I heard something about Russia starting a profile picture fad that was meant to counteract all the rainbows on people's newsfeed. So maybe our rainbows count for something. And I still think we all look beautiful in rainbows. Okay, that's it.  
The End.

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